Who remembers those personality quizzes from the 90’s teen magazines? You know, “Which celebrity is your perfect match?” or “Which dream job is right for you?”. Or maybe you don’t have to think back that far because we now have social media, where you may have already discovered which Disney Princess you are or what kind of take-out food matches your vibe (Okay, I made that second one up, but it might be out there!). These kinds of quizzes are fun, and while they aren’t necessarily accurate or very meaningful in the grand scheme of things, there are legitimate personality inventories out there that can be really useful tools. (Hint: Stick around till the end of this post and you’ll get to take one…)
I’ve always been a personality junkie. I’m fascinated by how people think and behave, and how the things that make us tick differ from person to person. It’s one of the reasons I majored in psychology. Disney Princess quizzes aside, I happen to think that the study of personality has much more to it than just fluff and click-bait. Understanding how we, and others, are wired can have a profound impact on how effectively we are able to navigate through our daily lives and how we relate to each other. Personality tests aren’t just for slumber parties!
The 16 Personality Factors
One of the first legitimate personality assessments I utilized in my counseling practice was the 16PF. It stands for 16 Personality Factors, and it looks at where a person falls on the spectrum between a certain trait and its opposite. For example, are you traditional, preferring to do things the way they’ve always been done (such as sticking to a recipe), or are you more experimental, drawn to trying out new methods (tossing in miscellaneous ingredients to see if you can make it taste even better)? The two ends of the spectrum are neutral, with each trait viewed as a positive characteristic, but understanding where you fall on the spectrum for each of the sixteen traits can provide a springboard for considering how to maximize your successful interaction with the world around you.
I was an intern at a university counseling center and counseled students from the undergraduate college, the graduate school, and the seminary. One of the highlights of my time working there was getting to meet with pastors-in-training to go over the results of their 16PF assessment. I loved getting to meet with these men and women and having the opportunity to get such a detailed glimpse into who each of them was. It was fascinating to realize that each of them were going into the same career field, but they were coming to it with very different personalities and perspectives. My fellow counselors didn’t have quite as much enthusiasm as I did about these sessions, so they began sending them all my way! I got to walk with each client through these traits they possessed and how each quality might play out in both their profession and their personal lives- both the strengths each quality provided them, as well as the potential pitfalls to look out for and proactively prevent. I found it to be such a wise and beneficial exercise for them to engage in, especially going into a field like pastoral ministry where support isn’t always abundant but burnout and missteps need to be prevented. This kind of tool would be useful in any career field, and in fact, many employers use it as a part of their hiring process.
The Enneagram
Another personality assessment that’s been helpful to me personally has been the Enneagram, which categorizes people into 9 different “types.” Exploring my personality and the personalities of my spouse and kids through this lens has led to greater understanding and cohesiveness within our family. For example, it provided an explanation for why two siblings, a strong Type 8 leader who expects everyone to follow the rules and sees it as his job to enforce them and a fun-loving Type 7 who is a bit more scattered and doesn’t take life so seriously, were always at odds. Gaining insight about who God made each of them to be and choosing to view each as legitimate approaches to life has led to more willingness to let their very different sibling be themselves a bit more and not take their behavior as a personal affront. It’s also helping me understand how to parent each of them more effectively.
The insight the Enneagram provides can be immensely helpful in marriage, as well. I happen to be a Type 9 recipe-following, unambitious, peacemaker who is married to a very principled Type 1 who has high standards for improving himself and the world around him. When pandemic life suddenly placed us home together all day, every day for months on end, these differences started producing more friction, but luckily it was around that time that I began exploring the Enneagram. Understanding what was going on under the surface for each of us helped me not only take things less personally, but it also increased my compassion toward him as someone who lives with a stronger inner critic than I do, and it inspired me to select a Christmas gift for him that would remind him of God’s abundant grace for him. Realizing that I wouldn’t have thought to take that action if I hadn’t been studying the Enneagram was when it really hit home for me that these personality tools have the potential to powerfully transform our lives and relationships.
Final Thoughts
No, personality tests are not the end-all-be-all. They aren’t perfect, and they run the risk of putting people in a box, labeling them, being misinterpreted, or missing important facets of a person’s makeup or experience. (One highly respected clinical psychological assessment labeled me a hypochondriac, which I am not.) But as the experiences I’ve described above demonstrate, inventories like these can provide a window into who you and the people around you are, as well as a doorway to greater effectiveness and more harmonious relationships. To me, that sounds like a tool that can lead to greater blooming!
Or you can just go online and find out which Harry Potter character would be your best friend. 😉
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