The Book I Had Been Waiting For…
Words can’t describe the sense of anticipation and relief I felt when I heard that someone had written a book called Introverted Mom. Typically, I’ll try to get books through the library if I can, in order to save money, and because my husband joked that my book buying habits as a homeschooling mom were going to put us over the household goods weight limit allotted to us by the military. But I didn’t hesitate for a moment to purchase this book before I had even seen it, because I had been wishing since becoming a mother eight years earlier that someone would write it.
My own experience as an introverted mom
I knew before becoming a mother that I was an introvert, someone who needs alone time to recharge, but it had never been a big deal, because my life up until my kids were born had always allowed for plenty of that time I needed. Though sometimes quiet, I’ve never been shy, and as a child growing up in a family where no one was boisterous, privacy was valued, and everyone had their own room, I was able to spend enough time reading, writing, making crafts, watching TV, mowing the lawn with inspirational music playing on my Walkman, and engaging in deep one-on-one conversations with my dad or a friend, that I had plenty of energy to participate in team sports, speak up in class, play with the neighborhood kids, or put together talent shows with my sister. My parents are actually extroverts, which I didn’t realize until I was an adult, but their occasional low-key parties with small groups of family friends were balanced nicely with a peaceful house the rest of the week.
I lived the first twenty-seven years of my life largely in a state of peaceful equilibrium, exercising freely my ability to control my own environment and level of stimulation without even realizing it. With plenty of time for creative pursuits and processing my thoughts, I didn’t realize how little friction I experienced against my introverted tendencies, even when living with roommates or a husband. I could always step away. I knew I liked having quiet, calm, and space to think sometimes, but I didn’t know it was as essential to my thriving as air to breathe, until I didn’t have it.
It wasn’t so noticeable with my first baby, even though he was an early talker and curious questioner. There were peaceful days, refreshing walks around the lake, minimal moments of conflict, and still plenty of time to process, even as he slept on my lap. But as I became a stay-at-home-mom to two, then three, then four kids (and homeschooled them) I struggled mightily the whole time, and couldn’t understand why. Until I realized- my introverted soul was always starving for air.
Talk about introversion has been buzzing for a few years, and society has begun to value what introverts bring to the table. But everything out there advising introverts on how to thrive seems to assume that they can spend their days plugging away at their passions, their evenings curled up with a good book, and their weekends relaxing on the beach. It’s not so easy for moms to grasp those things. To pursue creative projects or read a book or even go to the bathroom alone, you have to fight to make it happen, and it’s generally accompanied by frequent interruption and constant overstimulation, making an introverted mom question whether it’s even worth the effort and leaving her feeling far from the vibrant person she used to be. Is it even possible for an introverted mom to thrive?
Introverted Mom by Jamie C. Martin
Enter Jamie C. Martin’s book, Introverted Moms. From the very first chapter, Jamie reassures the introverted mom she’s not alone, and that struggling mightily with the social and sensory demands of motherhood does not mean something’s wrong with you or that you don’t love your kids enough.
The book looks at several different aspects of the introverted mom experience and addresses things like common stressors, energy management, anger, letting go of guilt about your limitations, how to make your moments of free time restorative, how to make wise decisions about activities and schedules, how introverted and extroverted family members can care for each other well, how to cultivate genuine friendships and faith in ways that fit your personality, letting go of unrealistic expectations and anxious striving, avoiding the comparison trap, and prioritizing what really matters most to you.
The most unique thing about this book, aside from its subject matter, is that the life stories and personal writings of four well-known introverted authors- Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, L.M. Montgomery, and Laura Ingalls Wilder- are woven throughout each chapter. I found this to be a surprising and encouraging addition to Jamie’s own reflections on life as an introverted mom. As an aspiring writer and stay-at-home mom myself, nothing could have encouraged me more than to read from the private journal of the author of stories like Anne of Green Gables and another one of my favorites, Emily Climbs, that she, too struggled with the longing for more time to think and write than the demands of motherhood allowed. C.S. Lewis wrote, “We read to know we are not alone,” and through the experiences of these four women, Jamie Martin’s own thoughts, and the reflections of the many other introverted moms included at the close of each chapter, Introverted Mom certainly succeeds in helping the introverted mom know she is not alone. Apart from, perhaps, the many practical tips for finding a healthy rhythm in our daily lives that are contained within these pages, there could be no greater gift for an introverted mom. Except maybe sending her on a vacation alone…
Want to find out more?
You can find Jamie Martin’s book, Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy at Amazon, Target, Christianbook.com, Audible, or wherever books are sold. You can connect with Jamie and fellow introverted moms at IntrovertedMoms.com.
*Disclosure: I was not solicited or offered any compensation to write this review.
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