Do you ever wonder if you know as much as you should by now about your field of “expertise”? Do you feel like you need to present yourself as an expert, but you secretly wonder if you’ve got the skills to back it up and suspect that your peers are more qualified than you’ll ever be? Or do you avoid branching out into something new because you don’t think you’ll be very good at it?
For many of us, the phrase “fake it till you make it” hits a nerve. Sure, intentionally stepping into a confident mindset can sometimes be inspiring, but it seems that as a core life strategy, faking it doesn’t, on its own, lead to making it (whatever “making it” really means). As someone who has been away from my career field for many years, it’s not surprising to me to feel a little out of my depth as I begin to interact with pioneers of my profession again after having made little progress of my own in the past decade. What is a bit surprising, though, is when I hear from countless highly trained people across various fields- “experts” who are actively doing good work- that they feel like impostors in their arenas, as well.
It’s natural for everyone to have bouts of shaky confidence at times, especially when we’re first starting out or during times when the pressure is on. But if we live in that place, harboring our self-doubt like a shameful secret, not only are we consigning ourselves to a place of misery and fear, but I believe we are actually shortchanging ourselves and the world around us, since each of us does have something uniquely valuable to offer, whether we are experts yet or not.
Keeping Expectations Realistic
It’s easy to want to avoid thinking about any of this, because, frankly, it can be scary. Our identities and self-esteem can be wrapped up in our careers and performance, and that’s not something we want to be shaken. We might be hesitant to address our own impostor syndrome head on because we know we can’t fake it with ourselves like we can with others. We can’t tell ourselves we are amazing at something if we aren’t. And if we are really good at something but refuse to believe it about ourselves, that won’t jive in our minds, either. That’s why we need to start by confronting the truth.
The truth is:
- We know some things, and we have some abilities.
2. We don’t know everything there is to know, and we have not gained every possible skill.
These two truths are true for every one of us.
It is not realistic to know it all and do it all. Even if you could have been farther along by now, your circumstances and your choices didn’t permit that, and so you gained the amount of expertise you were able to in the time you’ve had so far. These are the facts, and they are actually pretty freeing! Once we acknowledge these truths, and the others that follow, we can shift our perspective and decide how we want to move forward, hopefully with much more freedom and joy!
Being a Lifelong Learner
In a society that focuses on titles, degrees, certifications, awards, publications, and various other constructs that supposedly measure ability, it’s easy to forget that learning is not a once-and-done endeavor. Expertise is not an easily-definable line in the sand that a person crosses over in a single moment, and skill is not an all-or-nothing thing where our bucket is either full to the brim or completely empty. Learning is a continuum, a journey, and something that progresses in stages. I’d venture to say that no one ever discovers all there is to know or totally masters all the relevant skills in a field, even the top experts in the field who have devoted their entire lives to a given thing. No matter how hard we’ve worked, how much we’ve learned, or how well we’ve performed, there will always be more out there. This should be something to celebrate and enjoy, never a cause for despair. We can keep learning as long as we’re living, and we can do it at our own pace. Education and experience do matter (I’m not going to bet my money on the performance of an armchair quarterback who has never played a game of football, or ask a professional football player to perform my surgery), yet people who hold a lot of official qualifications might still feel insecure in their abilities or even be lacking in their abilities, while those who are less experienced and less decorated still have worthwhile contributions to make. We also have to acknowledge that the people who achieve high levels of success have made a choice to focus their lives on one thing and have had to make sacrifices to get where they are, sacrifices we may not be willing to make. It’s okay to be a bit of a jack-of-all-trades with a broader scope of interests, or to value a slower-paced, more balanced life.
Valuing our Contribution
When I was a counseling intern, I struggled regularly with the thought that my clients might be better helped by a more experienced counselor. My supervisor coached me through this, helping me to realize that unless the client’s needs were well beyond my ability to handle, in which case I would refer them elsewhere, they were receiving valuable assistance from me, regardless of whether I had yet reached my full potential. The phrase “better than nothing” may sound negative, but in truth, it was helpful to realize that I was offering something helpful to the people I was serving, and I could see evidence that they were better off than they would have been without it. Instead of comparing what I could offer with the best that might be out there, looking at it this way allowed me to avoid the all-or-nothing mindset and find value in what I could do, regardless of how far I had progressed. The same is true of you and your abilities. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be helpful. If someone is hungry and you offer them a home cooked meal, or even just hand them an apple, you are caring for them in a meaningful way and meeting a need, even if your cooking skills aren’t worthy of a five star restaurant. What is it that you can offer?Maybe you haven’t won any cooking competitions or built a house from the ground up, but what you can cook or build or write or perform or give can make a difference to someone, so why not share it?
Avoiding the Comparison Trap
Our contribution has value even if it’s not the best there is, and it’s worth mentioning more overtly that in order to overcome impostor syndrome, we must avoid comparing ourselves to others. A huge component of impostor syndrome is the fear that we don’t measure up to others, but measuring ourselves against them at all usually an unfair and unhelpful endeavor. No two people are born with the exact same abilities, circumstances, or timelines, so to try to compare your point C to someone else’s point F is not going to get you anywhere. You might not even be traveling to the same place! Even within the same specialty, our individual callings are unique. With your unique makeup, you will have your own flair on the same skills, and your sphere of influence encompasses people that only you may be able to reach. Even your seeming deficits and disadvantages can play a meaningful role in allowing you to reach or inspire someone you might not expect. This is why we need multiple people out there doing the same work- not for competition but for coverage! There is room for many harbors on the sea, and each is needed, so let’s be ourselves instead of wishing or trying to be someone or something else. Sure, a little competition might spur us on to better things on occasion, but only if we are already secure in our worth and focused on what matters. Let’s run our own races and be rooting for each other to succeed, as well.
Knowing where our worth truly lies
Finally, perhaps the most important thing we can do to overcome impostor syndrome is to have a solid sense of self-worth, one that is not based on how well we perform. All of us long to be loved and accepted for who we are, so our tendency is to put our best face forward to others (even if it isn’t authentic) so that we will be seen as worthy. Yet if we know deep down that we are attempting to look better than we actually are (as all of us are prone to do), then we are standing on shaky ground and we are going to be living in a state of anxiety rather than peace. Even when we do have strong abilities and performance, we know we are sometimes going to make mistakes, and if you believe deep down that making a mistake will make you a failure, you are chasing an impossible goal with your very sense of worth as a person hanging in the balance. Anyone who is living like that is undoubtedly living with chronic, sky-high anxiety, and that is not a sustainable or enjoyable way to live.
Did you know that there is another way to live and work besides constantly striving to prove yourself? That it is possible to live with the sweet peace of knowing that your worth is not based on what you do? It starts with knowing that you were intentionally created by God simply because he wanted you to exist. He loved you before you were born, before you had the chance to accomplish a thing! Just think- the One who created you thought you were a really good idea (Genesis 1:27,31)! He knew what you’d be like and how your life would unfold, and in spite of any mistakes you would make, he still thought you were definitely worth creating! (Psalm 139) And those mistakes that you would surely make, some of them dark and serious, well, He loved you enough to bear the cost of each one you’d ever make, if you would accept that gift (Titus 3:3-7) . Your Creator delights in you (Psalm 18:19, Zeph.3:17, Psalm 149:4), and as we learn from the story of Mary and Martha, he values simply being with you more than any of your accomplishments. In fact, the Bible often describes our earthly achievements as hindrances and filthy rags because of our tendency to find our worth in them and be led into an unholy sense of pride, which hinders us from coming to God, and being in close relationship with you is what He wants more than anything. Yes, God made you with unique talents you are meant to use well and he brought you to your place for a reason, but ultimately you are not your job title or your achievements. You are Created. You are Redeemed. You are Loved. You can rest easy. (Matt.11:28-30, John 16:33, Luke 12:7)
Enjoying the Journey
Do you know anyone who really loves what they do? Who is joyful and free in their work and in their demeanor? Chances are, they’ve put the traps of impostor syndrome aside and are simply living out who they are, enjoying the process and knowing their contribution has value regardless of the imperfections or what other people are doing. Work is always going to involve some toil, but it is also a gift. We can enjoy it and even thrive in it, when we cast our insecurities aside and live into who God created us to be. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we could all live and work with this kind of freedom and passion?
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