Giving Courage
I have a dear friend who is a great encourager. Rather than simply putting a positive spin on things or indulging in flattery, she embodies this characteristic quite literally: she gives me courage to pursue growth and goals by reminding me of the reasons why taking brave and challenging steps forward is both possible and worthwhile. These reasons my courage-giving friend declares to me aren’t just wishful thinking. They’re the only reasons solid enough to stand on, because they are based on steady truth:
- “You’ve taken brave and hard steps before, and it was worth it.”
- “You’ve got a good and powerful God who will empower you to do even what seems impossible.”
What a gift it is to have a friend who knows how to offer this genuine encouragement. I strive to do the same for her, because she and I, we need these reminders often, as many of us do. Because sometimes the obstacles in front of us can look like giants, and we humans are so prone to forgetting what we’ve already overcome, and, more importantly, the big and small ways God has been so faithful to provide and empower us in the past. So we remember those things for each other, and we call them “Reference Points.”
Why We Need Markers of Remembrance
Like a cairn, a pile of stones set up in remembrance of meaningful events and accomplishments, reference points are a way of marking something significant in your life that you will want to look back on when you’re in need of courage. Maybe it’s that time you overcame the temptation to succumb to an addiction, even if it was just one time. Or the graduation day you had to fight harder to reach than anyone knew. The times you faced fears and came out on the other side okay. When you tried a different way of relating in a difficult relationship, however unnatural it felt, and it gave you a glimmer of hope, because whether or not the results were what you wanted, you discovered your own power to choose your responses with intentionality and integrity. Times when you ignored self-doubt and took a risk, and it opened up new possibilities and new confidence.
Taking the time to etch these moments of triumph firmly in our minds and even creating something tangible (lists, photos, maps, art, actual memorial stones…) that will help us recall them later can be important, because when moments of darkness and doubt descend, as they are apt to do sometimes, those courage-giving milestones will do us little good if we’ve forgotten them, and we will likely default to safe and familiar habits, even if they aren’t the ones that will bring the results we’d like. It can cause us to get stuck there, believing those fears and doubts and lies. But if we can look back on the path we’ve traveled and spy markers of victory all along the way, it just may give us the confidence we need to keep going when the path in front of us seems uncertain.
We may not have a map of the road ahead, but we can create a map of where we’ve been, and this can be even better. Instead of placing our confidence in what lies ahead- the topography, the weather, the circumstances to come, or our own plans (a shaky foundation, because we can never truly rely on any of that, as many seasoned older adults can tell you), using our reference points map requires us to turn the emphasis inward, growing our confidence that we can be resilient and resourceful in the face of whatever challenges may come, and upward, remembering that we are guided and cared for by the One who can see over the tops of the trees and beyond the horizon, the One who promises to provide us not with a detailed roadmap but with enough light for the step we’re on, and to be with us every step of the way. Isn’t that a much better adventure, a much better relationship, than if we were to be handed that detailed roadmap and sent on our way alone?
Mist and Mountains
I’ve been thinking about reference points a lot lately as I embark on a task I know God has called me to but one that keeps me coming up against obstacles of many kinds. In order to keep from abandoning it, I have to keep reminding myself of all the points along the way where God’s hand was so evident, both in this particular task and in so many other things. I’m clinging to those reference points, and it’s been reminding me of a poem I wrote a few years back about how remembering the reference points in our faith journeys can help us through moments of doubt. The invisible things in life, the spiritual things, are in reality more real and lasting than any of the things we can see before our eyes, but sometimes when we can’t see something we get nervous, and we are prone to forgetting what we once knew so certainly.
“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'” -John 20:29
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” -Hebrews 11:1
The photos below were taken in Scotland, in the mountains of Skye, a few days before I wrote the poem that follows. I was captivated by these clouds that had the ability to completely obscure entire mountains. How could something as transient as a cloud make me question something as solid as rock, something I saw so clearly just a moment before? I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. What resulted was a declaration furiously scribbled on an airplane napkin, because I knew I would need to remember these mist-covered clouds. It was a call for me to hold firmly to the reference points of my faith, because the things I forget so easily, those marvelous encounters with the Living God, are the things most worth remembering, and they’re what will turn the gaze of my heart toward the only things that will give me true courage and true steadiness on the long and sometimes perilous journey ahead.
The Mountains of Skye
I have tasted and seen your goodness, O God,
Felt your presence so strong, watched your glory unfold
I would have turned back if your words proved untrue
But along every step it’s been just as you’ve told
How could I doubt what’s as solid as Rock?
And still…
There are times when it seems like you could be a dream
Can my heart really trust what my eyes haven’t seen?
The things of this world are a veil to my eyes
Coming down like a curtain to hide you from sight
Like the clouds you created, just mist, just a breath
But that breath can veil mountains in all of their might
The fog hovers over the mightiest peaks
Enveloping mountains in mist and mystery
It can make you doubt that you saw them at all
When moments ago they were sure strength and beauty
But some things are just so lofty they stand tall beyond the clouds
And doubt cannot render them any less true
A mountain stands as tall when the mist descends
As it does when the skies are the clearest of blue
I saw the sun shine bright through the clouds just there
Did you see it illuminate the mountainside?
But before I could capture that heavenly sight
The light crept back into the mist to hide
Was that light really there, was the mountaintop real
If I’m left with no image to show
To prove to you that it was true
Or remind me of what I should know?
Remember, O heart, that it wasn’t a dream
You bear the mark of this moment and many before
I’m branded by his glory and molded by his grace
Every glimpse forms his image a little bit more
Rest assured, O my soul, for you know one day soon
The sun will pierce the mountain’s haze
It will reveal that mountain, glorious and strong
And all will stand amazed
Will you stay long enough to watch the fog lift?
Will you pull back the curtain in search of his face?
Will you watch the stark beauty emerge once again?
Let the utter immensity blow you away?
“Praise the Lord, my soul, and never forget all the good he has done.” –Psalm 103:2
“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; Yes, I will remember your wonders of old.”-Psalm 77:11
Setting Up Your Own Stones
What reference points do you need to remember for courage as you step bravely forward in your life? Which moments of your own faith and God’s great faithfulness to you do you need to remind yourself of in order to remember that He will prove faithful in the moments to come? How will you create reminders for yourself so they’ll be ready for you to look back on when you need them? Who in your life could use a true encourager to remind them of their own reference points?
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